A Rough Guide to Abercardi

We have more dolphins here than anywhere else in the country

The famous dolphins of Abercardi Bay filmed with my Blue Peter video camera, (made from Fairy Liquid bottles and sticky-back plastic), while I was walking the coast path looking for shearwater eggs for my breakfast. Their numbers have been steadily falling over the past few years.With fox-hunting becoming increasingly risky, local aristocrats have been seen on the harbour wall, desperately raising their Purdeys and taking pot shots at these beautiful mammals at feeding time. The dolphins obviously enjoy the sport.

A lovely picture of the old Abercardi bridge. Rumour has it that this is soon to be replaced by a structure made of concrete block and corrugated iron, which will be much more in keeping with the local surroundings, and meet full planning approval.

Other Local Places of interest

The Guildhall on the steps of which elderly hippies can be seen mixing with Abercardis fine young people, striking a match on the Napoleonic cannon, and sharing a spliff in the blind spots of the newly installed video suveillance cameras.

Live music venues where on a Saturday night the sound of raw R&B is accompanied by percussive bangs, as our drunken rugby hero talks in the only language he knows to the stick insect he has caught dancing with his girlfriend.

The coastal path has always been a great attraction to the serious walker but a hike through the streets of Abercardi on a Sunday morning is not without its challeges and risks. To maintain a speed of four miles an hour while avoiding pavement pizzas and dog walkers detritis can be an unforgetable experience. Strong footwear is recommended. Students of anthropology will marvel at the strange dark, damp markings on the wall outside the chinese take-away.

The bronze otter on the town quay was erected a few years ago, and still stands rampant on its huge rock. From this very spot otters can sometimes be seen basking in the shallows of the swirling grey river, lying on their backs cracking walnuts at Christmas, amongst the carelessly discarded condoms and dead kingfishers.

What the tourists don't see.

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